A man with big ears trying to hear and be heard.

How To Be Heard And Listen Better.

Everyone desires to be heard and valued. People who master the art of engaging others through speech easily make friends and entice those around them.

As a frequent visitor of my sister’s church, I love the ambiance, teachings, and time-conscious nature of their services. However, I was lost and disconnected from the speaker throughout the sermon at a particular service a few weeks ago. After reflecting on my experience, I concluded that her delivery method was faulty. 

Like this speaker, we occasionally miss the mark when sharing our views with friends, colleagues, or family. A gap in communication arises and leaves our messages unheard, misunderstood or discarded.

In another post, I share why people don’t seem to listen to you. This is a follow-up post. To get the best out of it, please read: “So people don’t listen to you? This is why.

What can you do to be heard?

A man talking to another man. Trying to be heard.

Know Your Audience

You might be disappointed if you rely solely on speech and diction to convey a message. Speaking with the right articulations and charisma is great. But, before you step on any platform, it helps to consider your audience.  

The benefits of recognizing one’s audience are multifold. To marketers, knowing one’s audience means finding pain points. What do they want, need or desire? Who are they? This helps you adjust your delivery method and content. If you speak to children, the content will be more child-centred. When speaking to business associates, the approach will change accordingly.

Focusing on one’s audience is the first step towards gaining attention and getting your message across.

Consider their biases

It is sometimes easy to assume that everyone sees you like your mom does. Good looking, kind, intelligent, you name it. But most people perceive you in different ways. Sometimes a little less or more than you see yourself. So don’t walk into a conversation blindly.

Knowing your audience gives you an understanding of any possible biases. For instance, if you are young and about to talk to older people, some might view you as incompetent, others despise you, while the rest remain indifferent. You can detect no-go areas and plan for any questions or reactions that arise after taking note of biases. Most importantly, it reduces anxiety and enhances confidence.

Be tolerant

It is tempting to address every displeasure that occurs during an interaction. But, that is not necessary. You will meet with people you don’t like or agree with throughout life. The trick is knowing when to fight and when to hold back. 

As you address people, be permissive of some things and don’t take everything to heart. Being tolerant is different from accommodating disrespect. If you feel disrespected, by all means, call it out in a civil manner. However, don’t be that guy who picks a fight over the faintest of things. Let some things go. 

What can you do to listen better?

We’ve covered a few tips on how to be heard. But how can you listen better? Well, it’s pretty easy. Flip the script. 

  • Know who you are: your strengths, weaknesses, preferences, etc.
  • Know your biases: Things that might hinder you from proper hearing. 
  • Be tolerant: Be patient with those who seem different (speak with a foreign accent, speak too fast or slow, can’t stop talking, you name it).

Remember, conversation is a two-way street. So as much as you try to listen, ensure you are heard as well.

Have you ever had a dull conversation that left you feeling misunderstood? Share your experience below.

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