It doesn’t matter if you have a decade of experience or you are just starting in a field. Impostor syndrome affects even the best of us. Most people have experienced some form of impostor syndrome in their personal or professional lives. If you happen to be one of the lucky few to have skipped this phase of life, well, we envy you.
A few months ago, I attended two important career and networking events. On both occasions, I noticed a feeling of unease and inadequacy among other attendees. It seemed as though everyone around was smarter, better looking, and more deserving of an invite than I. As the events unfolded, I felt even worse than before. Suddenly, there was a strange change in my body language and I lost my natural confidence and ease with people.
I tried engaging in conversations to hide my unease but my mind kept wandering from one unrelated issue to the other. To solve this unusual feeling, I only talked when spoken to and spent the majority of my evening eves dropping on others’ conversations. Finally, I was out the door before anyone said adios at the end of the event.
Granted, I could have ignored my feelings and blamed the weather for everything that transpired at the event. But, this happened on two different occasions and it was obvious that something odd was going on. After much reflection, I accepted that I was sadly a victim of imposter syndrome. Both events had fewer people of colour, which left me feeling alienated and somewhat undeserving of being there. That was the root cause of the problem.
Two Ways To Kill Impostor Syndrome
Consider Reading: How to Avoid Losing Yourself When Going Through Life Changes
Rewire your mind’s narrative
Most of life’s battles are fought in the mind, and there is so much we can do if we only dare to challenge our intellect. As such, you have to be your own hype man when negative feelings arise. Take the time to affirm your worth and accept whatever accolades come your way. In my case, rather than feel inadequate about being the only person of colour, or one of the youngest people in the room, all I had to do was applaud myself for making it this far.
Always remember that being in a room with greatness sometimes means you have something special to offer as well. So rather than feel inadequate, feel proud of how far you have come and learn from those who have gone ahead.
Accept your inadequacy and be dedicated to learn
After spending the major part of your day inflating your ego, I want you a take a tiny needle and poke a hole in it. Ensure that the hole is small and unnoticeable, but very much present. The reason you may want to do this is to help your mind stay in reality. This helps you remain aware of your weaknesses and consciously work on them without losing your confidence.
Sometimes, that feeling of inadequacy stems from a lack of a given skill. If this is your situation, no amount of ego boasting will close the gap. You need to actively identify areas you wish to improve and work on them until you are confident in your abilities. Once competence meets a reasonable dose of pep talk and ego boasting, you can say goodbye to impostor syndrome and all its woes.
Have you ever had the feeling of being an impostor? How did you deal with it? Kindly share other tips in the comment section. Thank you.